Doing It Right: Making Smart, Safe, and Satisfying Choices About Sex($12.99Value)

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An experienced sex educator gets up front and personal in this updated reissue of an informative and candid guide aimed directly at teens. Enjoy responsibly. Sex. Sometimes it feels like everybody's doing it. Maybe you are. Maybe you're thinking about it. Maybe it's years away. Whatever. You need to be ready -- in your head, and down there. You have to know the right stuff in order to do it. Got questions? Who doesn't. "The Sex Lady" will break it down for you. • Does size matter? • How do you prevent STDs? • What birth control options are there? • If someone says they're a virgin, what does that mean? • Am I ready? Am I normal? The more you know, the easier it is to make safe -- and smart -- decisions about sex. "Bronwen Pardes has the courage to tell young teens everything they need to know about their sexuality and responsible sexual expression. A required (and stimulating!) read for all teens -- and their parents, too." -- Eric Marcus, author of "Is It a Choice?" and "What if Someone I Know Is Gay?" "Mothers and daughters can agree on "Doing It Right" -- nonjudgmental, informative, and easy to understand, it's like a whole semester of sex education in under one hundred and fifty pages." -- Dr. Carol Livoti and Elizabeth Topp, mother-and-daughter team behind "Vaginas: An Owner's Manual" "Refreshing, honest...powerful! This book will make a life-or-death difference to many of today's teens. Browen Pardes writes to inform, not to judge, and she succeeds." -- Bishop John S. Spong, author of "The Sins of Scripture: Exposing the Bible's Texts of Hate to Reveal the God of Love" "This is an informative, highly intelligent look at a teen's changing body, sexuality, and actual physical intimacy.... A wonderful guide." -- Teensreadtoo.com Bronwen Pardes is an alumna of Vassar College and New York University’s graduate program in human sexuality. She has taught sexuality education at middle schools, high schools, and colleges in New York City. Doing it Right is her first book. Doing It Right 4: Am I Ready? IN CHAPTER 3 WE TALKED ABOUT PUBERTY AND WHAT HAPPENS TO your body as you grow from a child into an adult. All those changes—breasts growing, hair appearing in new places, changes in your genitals, getting your period, having your first wet dream—mean that your body is ready to have sex. Being physically ready is one thing, but how do you know if you’re ready emotionally? The fact that you’re reading this chapter probably means you’re asking yourself this question. Becoming sexually active is a big deal. Having sex can be a great experience. But it also comes with a lot of consequences. Sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy are very real risks, so you’ll want to make sure you’re informed and ready to take precautions (you can learn how in chapters 5 and 6). In addition, sex can bring on a lot of feelings you might not be prepared for. If you have sex with someone you feel really strongly about, those feelings might deepen if you have sex with them—which can be both wonderful and a little scary. If you have sex with someone you don’t feel that strongly about, you could find yourself feeling more attached to them, whether you want to or not. I’m not trying to discourage you from having sex. But I want to be sure that if you do, you’ll think about it carefully. For starters, why do you want to have sex? There may be lots of reasons: You have a steady girlfriend or boyfriend, you’ve been getting closer to each other, and sex just feels like the natural next step. You’re curious—everyone is talking about sex, and now you want to experience it for yourself. You’re just plain horny! Sex is all you can think about, and you’d rather do it than think about it. You feel you’re old enough. Sex is something people your age do. But maybe you’re not sure if you’re ready. Everyone is different, and everyone feels ready at different times. The important thing is not to have sex before you are ready, and only you can figure out when that is. DOES AGE MATTER? The law tells you when you’re old enough to drink, drive, and vote, and believe it or not, it has rules about when you’re old enough to consent to sex, too. Someone above the age of consent who has sex with someone below the age of consent can be charged with a crime. Age of consent varies from state to state, but in most states it ranges from sixteen to eighteen. For specific information on your state, go to www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm, and for more information on consent, see chapter 14. Lots of people consent to sex before they’re allowed to according to the law. Young people don’t usually get into legal trouble for having sex with another young person unless someone (like a parent) presses charges, but it’s something to keep in mind when making the decision to have sex. That being said, no one can tell you an age when you’re ready to have sex. There can be lots of pressure, b